Dorothy Ditches The Yellow Brick Road
Over the course of my early 20's I attended three different colleges (2 of which I was promptly kicked out of) and had three different majors. To say I was confused, is a gross understatement. Growing up I learned that in order to be successful, I had to follow the 'yellow brick road to happiness' through the following steps:
Go to college
Get a job that requires wearing stockings and a conservative heal
Find Mr. Right
Have a brood of children
Following this roadmap, like many in my family had before me, would surely equate to success and happiness... right?!
I remember graduating from high school and looking down at my shoes teetering on the edge of the path that had been engrained in me to follow, and wondering how the hell to put one foot in front of the other. My shoes were made of lead! I couldn't move, fear coursing through my veins, leaving me completely immobile.
At that very moment, 'succeeding' seemed so overwhelming that I made the conscious decision to just drink and party until things became clearer, like any good budding alcoholic.
If I'm really honest, then I'd tell you I had zero interest in squeezing into pantyhose and having a big girl job for 8 hours a day. I didn't know for the longest time that I had a choice; I had complete control of my destiny. I could be whatever I wanted to be. Pantyhose or no pantyhose. WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME THAT?!
The better and more realistic question is, why didn't I listen when I was told that over and over again by various people in my life?
When I had the epiphany that I could choose my destiny, my career, and shape my happiness, it was as though I’d been smacked in the head with a wrecking ball; Miley style. I think that's a good example of how most things REALLY resinate with me - you could say I'm a 'slow learner'.
When I finally realized I had a choice, I was studying at my third college and majoring in something I hated. During my free time, I was actively participating in my local yoga studio community - and LOVING that aspect of my life. I would practice almost daily, be there all the time with my new yogi friends, geeking out over yoga poses. I saw clearly for the first time, that exerting my time and energy towards a career path that drains me, is NOT what I am truly on this earth for. I then made the conscious decision to pursue my yoga passion wholeheartedly.
When I came to that decision I felt ease, lightness, and I wasn't afraid. I put the intention out into the universe with no clear vision of how I was going to make it happen financially. A few months with this intention floating around in the background it was as though someone took my life and parted it like the Red Sea. I had been given an effortless opening that allowed me to take 9 weeks off to go live in LA to pursue yoga training. My then fiancé was completely onboard, whispering words of encouragement in my ear every step of the way.
I had never felt more secure in my decision to follow my heart; Maybe because it was the first time I had every really listened to my intuition, or was quiet enough to hear. I knew I probably wouldn't make a ton of money, that my Dad would most likely refer to my career choice as a hobby rather than 'a real job', but I was happy and I didn't care.
It was the first time in my life I had a purpose, and 'work' felt meaningful. No amount of money can buy that sense of contentedness.
What I've learned along the way, is that it doesn't have to end there...what I thought was my 'life purpose' is just the tip of the iceberg. I spent my whole life thinking I could only be one thing - that I had to stay within the lines, play nice, and keep it together. Well, that's bullshit.
I am SO excited that the sky is the limit... I want to be a yoga teacher, health coach, mama, mentor, friend, lover, speaker, student.... The list grows daily.
Life is too short to be stuck in a box - especially one that is cramped and isn't the right fit. If you're in a career that doesn't make you happy, take the time to explore the things that do; It is in those activities that you will find your light, passion, power and your TRUE calling.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
----from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.